Paperboy arrested for distributing crack in daily newspaper

The arrested paperboy during better days.

Chief of Police glad it’s over

A shocked neighborhood is trying to understand the ongoing events as it was uncovered yesterday that the Daily Sun’s paperboy had been distributing crack, amongst other drugs, in a rolled newspaper on a daily basis to various customers. ” Now I understand why the people living there were acting in such a strange way “declared Chief of Police John L. Studenberg. ” Men would come out of their houses trying to hit random people, kids would be crossing the streets with their little racing cars without even thinking about passing cars… Even remote controlled cars seemed to be on some sort of drug since they kept on moving by themselves in a continuous rectangular pattern. “.

Below is a reproduction depicting what kind of hallucinations you might see when under the influence of heavy drugs according to scientists.

Private detective given honorary medal

” I have done what needed to be done since… a very long time. “local private detective Charles E. Mangalore said. ” I knew people were continuously high on crack – it was obvious. But I had to find out who was delivering it. When I realized no dealers were apparently going from house to house to sell their crack, I had to search for another possible explanation and that’s when I thought about the paperboy since the people who were doing drugs were all living on the same street… And everybody knows that this paperboy only delivered on that specific street, so I started making photographs of the little boy and I soon discovered that he was the one who was the criminal. “. Charles E. Mangalore has been uncovering various criminal mysteries before. He is best known for leading police to the famous duck hunter who kept on killing numerous ducks without permit with the aid of his laughing dog. The mayor of the city responded by creating an honorary medal for the event and giving it to Mangalore who, during his speech, had this to say ” My next goal is to find out who actually killed Irene, Ryu Hayabusa’s first and only love. “.

The paperboy had a list of customers which was found in his personal computer. The white houses were his customers while the red ones were people who did not want drugs. The paperboy would constantly intimidate those people in order to keep them from calling the cops.

Paperboy allegedly threatened non-customers

When called by phone, a neighbor who did not want to reveal its identity described the weekly intimidating acts the paperboy would commit in order to keep them from calling the police. ” He would constantly throw newspapers at our windows, breaking them! He was terrible. Once he threw a newspaper at my poor dog and my dog was paralysed. Each and every week I had to buy another dog, but he kept on paralysing my dogs with his god damned newspapers! I am glad he is finally being locked up. “

Below is a photograph of paperboy fleeing after breaking a window.

 Below is the paperboy selling drugs to a 9 years old child who was already heavily intoxicated. The boy thought that the sky was the floor and thus he kept on trying to walk on it. He eventually broke his neck and became paraplegic.

Various photographs prove to be undeniable proofs

Detective Mangalore followed the paperboy everyday for almost three weeks, making numerous photographs depicting the boy committing crimes including vandalism, intimidation, drug selling and more. ” I do not think that the boy could ever get out of this without spending time in jail… I’ve done my job, that is all. ”Mangalore said. The paperboy who claimed to be innocent on all charges will appear in court next month. Until then, he will remain in jail.

Paperboy’s arrest leads to finding out providers were biker gang

As the private detective was making multiple photographs, the paperboy, after his daily routine, met an unidentified biker in the middle of the street. The biker provided him with numerous drugs and then rode away. The police would like anyone who saw this biker to call the local police station in order to collect more information on this man.