Flying monkeys cause mayhem in Idiotic Bystander office

Yesterday’s press release is stained with ape feces

 

To our readers, I apologize.

 
I, the Dictator, must tell you that our headquarters have been stormed by an army of flying monkeys in the middle of the night. We were caught off-guard to say the least. I, myself, battled with a gigantic winged ape man in my own office. This is the result of a war between us and the “Daily Sun” which was declared by them after we told you about the crack dealing paperboy. Their reputation at hand, the Daily Sun couldn’t do anything but send flying monkeys in order to disturb our press release. The monkeys have fought well, but we ended up with the upper hand in this first battle of what will probably be a long and painful conflict. This will not go unpunished for I have now created half tiger, half snake beings ready to storm their own headquarters. Rest assured that we at the Idiotic Bystander are ready to face adversity… And it will take more than flying monkeys to destroy us.

 

Sincerely yours,

 

 

The Dictator.