Priest performs successful exorcism on rocks

ROCKS WERE POSSESSED BY EVIL SPIRIT FROM HELL

In a small Mexican village, the Lulalobos family was continuously mocked by others when they would claim that the rocks found near their home were subject to many demon possessions daily. They have been laughed at for many years until famous exorcist William H. Macy ( not to be confused with the actor of the same name ) came to their house yesterday, acknowledged the presence of an evil spirit within the rocks and performed a successful exorcist on them at approximately 10:37 am.

ROCKS WERE NUMEROUS

Following the exorcism, the priest was interviewed by our reporters. ” When I came to the house, the family was on the verge of going mad with fear. I told them not to fear the Devil, for God  will deal with Him  on Judgment Day ™. I, however, could deal with the rocks. The family told me the rocks often stood right in front and behind of their house, practically surrounding them. Once, the father threw a rock away, but when he looked back, he saw hundreds of other rocks all around his house. The rocks were not moving, but they were numerous. Once, a very small rock got stuck in the mother’s shoe and it was carried into the house. When the family saw that rock within the house, they called me. I came as quickly as possible, knowing that this case was similar to many other rock cases. “

PRIEST KNOWS HIS THING

Macy has seen many demons and possessed people in his life. His 60 years experience makes him one of the most important exorcist of his time. He is well known for practicing exorcisms on other things and people including: a bunch of oreo cookies, a feather, Elmo, the entire Japanese punk rock band known as Guitar Wolf and, of course, God Himself.